The problems of dating an only child

14-Apr-2016 07:18 by 4 Comments

The problems of dating an only child - Chatbox adult

Also, with conditions of childhood so comfortable at home, the only child can be reluctant to alter them.When the "break" from childhood comes and the need for more independence begins, unwelcome conflict typically occurs between indulgent parents and a child who has been bred to be strong-willed.

Because adolescence involves separation from parents, opposition to parents, and differentiation from parents, these developmental changes can be quite painful for a highly attached only child to do.

At the beginning, the separation from childhood in early adolescence (ages 9-13), with the pushing against and pulling away from parents, creates more abrasion, distance, and loneliness.

At the end, the departure into trial independence (ages 18-23)can be scary when leaving home can feel like a loss of parents.

This abrasiveness troubles both only child and parents for whom the past was so harmonious, for whom the companionship is so important, and for whom displeasing each other can be so hard to bear.

I believe this is why the adolescence of a lot of only children is delayed, often not beginning until middle school or even early high school.

They don't want to make mistakes at the child's expense and so are very conscientious and deliberate in their parenting.

Usually the child feels a comparable obligation to do right by the parents.

Now reluctance to let go can protract dependency on parents when the time for more independence has arrived.

Once adolescent growth is finally accomplished, however, many only children and parents can claim a substantial reward -- a very intimate and loving friendship that nourishes their adult years.

From what I have seen, only children tend to be powerfully parented.

Well attached to parents and well nurtured by them, the only child receives a lot of parental attention, affection, acceptance, and approval that probably contribute one of the more consistent research findings that major researcher about only children, Toni Falbo, at the University of Texas, reports about only children - they tend to develop high self-esteem.

Three distinctive characteristics separate only child families from those with multiple children.